slipperylppery6 (slipperylppery6) wrote,

yucky night

Do you know why it is so easy to stay with someone who cheats on you? Because either they, or you yourself, will make you think that you are the reason they cheated.  You will think they cheated because you weren't enough, not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not sexy enough, just not enough in general.  And those feelings stay with you for a long time, into your next relationship and then the one after that.  I suppose that's what they call baggage.  So I can still trust my new fiance, but worry that they could some day cheat on me, not because they are cheaters, but because I am not enough.

It is so hard to be a woman.  To be self confident and strong all the time.  I don't feel confident about the way I look right now.  I feel fat and ugly.  But it will pass, I will work on it and I will feel beautiful and self confident again.  But being with me means being with me through out the good and the bad.  And when I am feeling bad I am not out looking for other people to tell me how good I look.  I am only looking at you.

I am not holding your past against you, but really, if there are things that happened in the past that truly hurt me, there will always be scars.  There will always be reminders about what happened and I can move on and still remember those things at the same time.

I just do not want to deal with this...
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