Ya wanna know something funny? I, Kendra King, the girl who is scared of everything (spiders, throwing up, driving in the rain), am not scared of dying. Someone at work today made a comment about how scared they are of death, for others, for themselves and everything about it. I am not. I am not sure if it is because of my job or because I know, deep inside of me, that when I die, when I take that last breath, I will simply float up to heaven to be with my Grandpa and my Papa. It might sound naive or childish, but I truly believe that is how it will happen. And honestly, while I hope that I do not die until I am an old woman with many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, I would be happy to be with my Grandpa and Papa again. I miss them so much. Big life changing moments make me miss them, little everyday seconds make me miss them
I want my Grandpa to meet Travis. I wanted him to know that I found a wonderful man who treats me so well. I want to tell him about my job, about my life and how much he influenced me. I want to tell him that I saw him give that homeless man money, and that shaped my entire view on how we should treat people less fortunate than us. Grandma says that he always gave homeless people money, even when people said 'oh that man will probably spend that money on drugs or alcohol,' he just said 'you never know' and gave them the money. Grandpa-I give homeless people clothes, food and even sometimes money. And I found a man that will ride around with me to hand out chicken to the homeless. He may not agree with it, but he goes along to keep me safe. If my grandpa were still here I would ask him to walk me down the aisle at the wedding with Bob. Because he was a father figure to me. He taught me things. He kept me safe
I want Papa to know my children someday. I want him to show them how to make any situation in life fun and bearable. How a silly rhyme will make even the crankiest teenager smile. Sometimes on the worst days at work I will say something silly. People laugh and I smile because Papa showed me that a smile goes a long way. Look at the things he went through, he fought in a war, and still turned out to be a happy, joyous old man. I want them to see how he treated Nanny, like a queen. One of the last things Papa whispered in my ear was "make sure someone always warms the car up before Nanny gets in." What a simple statement, what deep love. That was Papa, pure love. He loved Kelsey and I without hesitation, without doubt. If my papa were still here I would ask him to dance with me at my wedding. We would laugh and smile while he sang along, making up the words. He would spin me around and make me so happy.
So I am not scared of death. Actually, I think it is kind of beautiful in a way. It gives the person who leaves us a time to rest. And it gives us a time to reevaluate, to remember and to rejoice. Life has cycles and this is one of them.